Professor Ludeker,

I am writing to you because I seek your support in ascending to Empress of English 121.  An empress must be a great leader, and as you read in my first assignment, I have many developed leadership skills.  More specifically, I have learned these skills while working with young people of average college ages (18-25).  I am capable of relating to this demographic while maintaining my authority.  An empress must be well mannered.  I have been trained in formal eating habits and I can maintain composure even under the most dire of circumstances.  In fact, the more upset I become, the more calm and eloquent my speech.  An empress must be regal.  I understand my attire in class to this point may not reflect regality, but if you notice today I am wearing a large, genuine emerald ring which invokes royalty, and I could procure others easily.  In my home, I have many dresses and outfits of lush velvet or silk in bright colors which would lend themselves to the role well.  Finally, a matriarch must be ruthless, and I am quite ruthless.  Just ask my boyfriend.

I appreciate your consideration, however in becoming an empress I hope you understand I don’t need your vote.  I just took over.

Regards,

laserchicken

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